How to Provoke Your Child to Anger

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)

I've been spending some time this week studying what it means to provoke your child to anger as fathers are instructed NOT to do in Ephesians 6:4. While the practical list of things that I have come up with has grown to over 30 items, one has really caught my attention and that is summed up in one word. Preoccupation. Below is an excerpt from an article by Don Currin. I have a hard copy of the article but the link seems to be expired so I cannot attach the full article.

In Hosea 4:6, the prophet gives a solemn warning to those who forgot the law of their God through their own sinful preoccupation. God said that he would forget their children as a judgement for their wicked involvement.

While many believing dads today may not be involved in the sinful practices of Hosea's day, they may be so absorbed in their own agendas to the neglect of their kids. The story was told of how G. Campbell Morgan was approached by a distressed father who inquired as to how to regain the respect of his small boy. Can you imagine the man's surprise when the intellectual preacher asked, "have you ever tried a game of marbles?"

If we expect to have the utmost influence upon our children we must never prioritize our selfish desires and temporal interests over their needs. The dad who pursues his own carnal ambitions to the exclusion of quality interaction with his child may find it difficult to persuade that child to heed his counsel later in life.

I was so impressed by the decision that professional golfer, Phil Mickleson, made this week to forgo his preparation for one of the biggest golf tournaments of the year, The U.S. Open,  to attend his daughters 8th grade graduation in San Diego. He attended the graduation on Wednesday and then flew all night to Philadelphia arriving hours before his 7:11am tee time. I don't know much about the faith of Phil Mickelson but this is an example of a dad who is willing to do whatever it takes to make sure his family knows what is truly important to him. You can read more of this story here. 

I am amazed at how fast it seems that my own girls are growing up. My oldest just finished her freshman year of high school but I can remember the day she was born like it was yesterday. I am reminded to make the best use of the time while I still can. While many of us struggle with saying "no" to things that seem important, we must always remember that when we say "yes" to something that unnecessarily takes us away from our responsibilities as a dad we are in fact saying "no" to the people who matter most. The more time we spend with them when they are young and the more "deposits" we make into the bank account of their heart, we lessen the chance that we will make the mistake of provoking them to anger which could lead to bitterness and resentment. We then can have a greater influence on them as they grow into adulthood.